growing up...upside down

bcn_27
Originally uploaded by jorodu.

it was 36 years ago, who knows how or what and for what reasons,
at 12 I learned to play the drums, on my own, at 17 got my first drum lesson, at 19 went to Psychology school for 4 yrs, quitted , went to Music School, for 2 years, studied with Gerry Weil for a little under a year, went to Music College for 3 years in the States, got married, then for a year wasted money and time learning the technolgies of the web, got divorced, started a new life, new band, new gigs, new people, new love, somehow along the way I forgot that I had to grow inside as well, besides attemping to learn all the cool things of what we call music, I forgot I had to be a grown man, now I'm paying the consequences of such and odd upbringing ....such a little kid inside myself...it has to be nurtured, but it also have to grow.......

Life has placed me in a situation in which, music has become a central part of it, and a source of joy and anxiety. Driving me towards the uncomfortable situation in which cannot make a living as a musician, cannot function well in a different enviroment outside the musical arena. What to do?, how, when , where?....everything is a whirlwind of things, a big salad of messes, pros and cons. To the point that I don't know anymore....forget days, forget dates, appointments, times and duties.....

this is not happiness...